Entitled or not?

I have heard many complaints lately about how today's young people suffer from a sense of entitlement. They feel (say the complainers) like they deserve the best at all times. I've been struggling with entitlement issues in the last week or so.

What set it off was discovering that the insurance company representative and I miscommunicated. Several weeks ago, I called them to find out if they would help pay for some kind of home health aide for me. My disability has reached the point where I can't get out of bed, shower and dress without some help and my husband needs to travel some for work. I understood the woman to say we had coverage and went on to get a prescription from my doctor and to find a company that could provide the service. That company contacted the insurance company and was told they don't cover that service.

It turns out they'll cover skilled nursing services...wound care, that kind of thing.

We can get the help; we just have to pay for it. This gives my monster-mind more ammunition for its "I'm-nothing-but-a-burden-on-my-family" attack.

I went to church last Sunday and listened to a sermon about how Jesus turned the cultural rules of the day on their heads and how God calls us to move out of our comfort zones. Then I went to an adult education class where "health care" was included on a list of human rights.

Our culture values independence. It wants me to "stand on my own two feet." I can't, but I've bought into those values. I'm most comfortable when I am doing it for myself.

What if I act as though having others help me was not something for which I need to apologize? What if I behaved as though I were entitled to help?

Ralph and Alexis (husband and ten year-old daughter, respectively) get frustrated by how much I struggle before asking for help. Part of me thinks struggling is good for me: physical effort is good to a point. Some of the time, I'm acting on an unhealthy, crooked rule along the lines of "if they loved me, they'd help me before I ask." Often, by the time I ask for help, I'm angry at my own inability and my voice shows it.

The experiment between this blog and the next will be: Act as if I have a right to ask for help, as if it's not a burden on others to help me. Ask for help early and often and be as clear as I can about what it is I'd like people to do for me.